I understand the need for Cloudflare in this case, I just didn't realize it was being used at first and got rather excited about the prospects of self-hosting. I don't mean to insult, I just got a false impression and wanted to make sure people here knew that the resources aren't really being served by your server, at least in most cases.

I just ran that Pingdom test again, 938ms for the 301 and 3861ms on the 404 on a missed cache. Now that it's in the cache, everything loads in less than 247ms.