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F1-F2 to change MBP brightness, CTRL+F1-F2 to change external monitor brightness. Works with my thunderbolt LG 5K. (I dislike the Touch Bar so I always use an external keyboard when at my desk)

They are independent of the touch bar. It simply presents a UI for any external monitors for which macOS already knows to control the brightness. You can change the brightness of supported monitors from System Preferences or using the keys on compatible keyboards.

I agree. There are brightness sliders for each screen in System Preferences, but doing it that way is a pain in the butt for something that I do frequently.

My previous laptop was a 2012 Macbook Air, and I used an Apple Bluetooth keyboard at my desk in part for this reason. The laptop keyboard adjusted the laptop screen brightness, and the BT keyboard adjusted the external screen brightness.

The apple thunderbolt displays have some keyboard shortcuts IIRC, but that has its own host of problems

Because, unless you already run Pock, it's the only way to make the touchbar useful...