I started applying this when I had a partner I was very crazy about but we kept on hurting each other dramatically because we didn't actually listen or explained our fears properly. We were unable to express things in such a way that the other person wouldn't get riled up by it. We both did a course and started applying it actively in our life. Our fights immediately became a lot intense and we were able to explain our needs way more carefully, and at some point we decided to break up in a good way because these needs weren't met. I still deem this a success because if we didn't talk properly or clarified our needs we would maybe still in this rollercoaster.

Work wise, as a developer I apply it a lot when I see that there is some form of miscommunication. As a developer I am sort of used to fight for my opinion in discussions but before I was not able to voice it that I was mostly concerned. For instance. I work with startups, and the founders talk a lot in meetings, but don't really seem to listen to clients want (because they are passionate of their product/idea_. Instead of saying you should listen more (actually I did this a lot in the beginning), I'm voicing that I'm afraid we're missing out on clients and we should work on a way that we can ensure that clients feel heard.

In the beginning I was a bit unskillful, so I weirded out some people, but it got better over time. I don't really use the template as-is anymore.

In terms of failures. It's a bit of a balancing act in opening up and vulnerability. If you apply it properly you're basically an open book, and not always the people opposite of you can return the favour. There will come a moment that the person opposite of you can't open up just yet.

I still think NVC is a good base to start from. On top of this I also started practicing deep listening in the practice of Buddhism at Plum Village in France which also helps me in life.

It takes energy and practice and it will always be work, but I see it as a good addition in my life.