The real reason to not give you equity is because they don't have to, so more for them.
Then you acknowledge that said person is lazy, condescending or something else but definitely not a team player that's for sure. And you move on.
Then you attend a decision-making meeting where you are to recommend a handful of people to your exec peers for equity, raises, spinoffs or carveouts.
Guess whose name won't even come to your mind when assessing the company's rising stars ?
Edit: "I neglected meetings that seemed unnecessary" see that? That's condescension. Neglect. Laziness. No conspiracy needed when self-undoing is a certainty.
Oh, hang on, it's suddenly occurred to me that you're being so defensive because you're in a similar situation and hoping for the best?
No son, don't rely on "recommendations" or "positive meetings". If it's not in writing, it's worth nothing. Get it written down and fuck the "rising stars" bullshit. If it's worth anything, it's in the contract.
You can thank me later, kid.
They were never going to get equity. Life is not fair.