Have some imagination will you?
Just as you say, you don't want to verify ownership every time someone views your thing. You do it once with a trusted 3rd party, get a certificate or whatever you want, and hang it next to your piece.
If you now wanna show off your bitcoin worth, get a e-ink display connected to a raspberry pi that shows the current value of your bitcoin wallet. Have the certificate you acquired for this wallet right next to the e-ink display. Now exactly the same as if you were to show off your Van Gogh.
Bit false of you to compare showing a Van Gogh with verifying a bitcoin wallet. More appropriate to compare verifying a Van Gogh with verifying a bitcoin wallet, and we both surely know which one is faster and more reliable.