I have one simple policy in 2021. I ignore people who use the term "gaslighting". It's a proxy sign that the person doesn't like the idea, but doesn't have a good complaint and instead just uses modern progressive buzzwords.
Further, refusing to hear an argument because it has a term you don’t like is much more about you than it is the other people.
Are you, uh, entirely certain about that?
But, hey, if you want to exclude arguments because of one "modern" trigger word, I doubt anyone will stand in your way.
I think we've reached the point where people should push back on invalid usage; I see somebody just posted the following to Hacker News: https://thingofthings.wordpress.com/2020/11/16/hermeneutical...
It is not gaslighting when someone contradicts you, or intentionally causes you to doubt your beliefs, or leaves you uncertain of what you believe, or even makes you think that they think you are crazy. Gaslighting is about someone lying to you in a way that causes you to lose trust in your own capabilities as a rational person: your ability to reason, your competence to figure out the truth, your capacity to remember things in a broadly accurate fashion even if you are sometimes fuzzy on details, your knowledge of your own feelings and thoughts and desires. And if your mind is unreliable… well, you’ll have to rely on someone else.