Even if you can solve any whiteboard problem a company can throw at you your attitude is so off putting, even just via text, that I am not surprised you are getting no hits. Instead of getting shit done you'll complain, blame, and stall the team.

Notice how nothing in this thread is your fault. Every single problem is on another person our outside force. No one will pity you, doubly so in a highly technical team. It's just not part of the culture. Take it or leave it.