>The thing about OO is that as far as I can tell, it's natural

How so? If it was natural, it wouldn't take 30 years of programming to arrive to it (and in a bad way).

>The usefulness of OO is exactly that allows, partially, some totally fungly thing like "network credentials permissions" to be treated, sort of, like a thing, we sort of, understand, a fricken car.

Cars have instance variables and methods? You car.drive() your car?