Hacker News Reader

Comment by irjustin | Hacker News Reader

You know what, if you don't want to have kids because they're too expensive - do not have kids!

Too many parents don't want to be in the position they're in for whatever reason and didn't take the time to figure out whether they really want to have kids.

View on HN

Yeah, if one thinks that kids are expensive they're probably making the right decision of not having any. It is true having that children require changes in the parents lives, which are not only financial, a lot of time gets sunk into family and children. One must enjoy it. I personally do though I can't say I would've said the same thing before having my family, I did not know what it would be like. There is a great positive side and that is the great reward this brings. My life took a different turn for sure and it is for the better.

There's a term for this (anyone know?) - when someone says life has improved and attributes it to specific events when really it would have improved on any number of other paths they could've taken too. The underlying factor is that "time passed and things happened".

You imagine the alternative as staying in the spot you were in, but of course that's impossible. There are all kinds of random encounters and unknown unknowns that would have happened.

I was on a stagnant personal development trajectory for a while and having a family unleashed stored potential. It is impossible to know exactly how things would have turned out in an alternate reality but if I feel that things took a better turn and that is enough for me to feel satisfied.

That's a good way to put it, and I don't doubt you. It's just that the childless are frequently spoken to as if getting a family is the only way to unleash this potential, and I want to provide a counter-view.

Oh, I was responding from my personal experience. Some people have other priorities and are currently doing well the way they are and that is perfectly fine by me.

Being aware that they're expensive (although my child is much less expensive than my spouse) doesn't necessarily mean not having them, it just means having them with your eyes open.

I find that the highest expense, at least in the early years, is time.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com