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> "attention atrophy"

That is probably true. Now if something is longer than 5 minutes I don't watch it end to end, but keep skipping "to the point". When I listen to lectures, I am always listening at fastest speed possible and also skip. I tried meditation as well, but I have this feeling of doom crawling around my thoughts when I meditate. Like I am sitting here meditating, and worry that work is not being done. I need to get to the bottom of this.

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This sounds a lot like ADHD, especially in terms of the focus on getting 'to the point' (which can be maladaptive if it results in routinely skipping over the 'filler', which is very often crucial to developing deep understanding).

I need to read more about this. I thought you can't develop ADHD in adulthood. I suffer from chronic pain and when the symptoms were worse I had to constantly do something to take my attention away from pain. Now I am getting quite good medication so I don't have to do that often. But I was definitely able to watch even very long lectures and I read many books when I was younger without problem. Brain is such a fascinating device :-)

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