But you don't get to have that! You get the "insane" syntax oh bash, encapsulated in a ridiculously verbose and frankly quite unintuitive JavaScript contraption that seems to provide little, if any, benefit.
Also, Shell scripting is mostly about correctly and safely interacting with other CLI-based tools - which this new thing wrapping a shell (and badly at that, see other comments in this thread) won't help you get right, either.