Won't comment on your first point because i think its pretty well documented by now, specially for the HN crowd. But if you really want to to go down into this rabbit hole..
> iPad is a consumer device. They don’t make it for “developers.” You aren’t their target audience.
Sure, but the consumer is, a consumer who would want the best experience and the best applications on his device.
Crippling and curbing the developer forcing the hand where he cannot use certain technologies or certain paths only to suit Apple monopolistic, control freak neurosis, will in the end damage the users, as he would not have access to goodies he would like and want to.
This is basically the reason why Apple is getting away with it. The user doesn't even know he is being damage in certain ways so Apple can resort its control, because the application that should reach him, apps he would want if the option was given to him, never will reach him.
Because even if the developer miraculously circumvented an obstacle (that is not there for the final users sake) and published its app, the control over app store publishing would take care of censoring the application through the evaluation process.
Just a sample of where the final user is being damaged, the fact that he cannot really run other browsers that are basically UI shims over Safari, because Apple is afraid of web based applications multi-platform applications to work on your device.