Dr.Hipp mentioned GMail bouncing email sent to him - but hosting email yourself, will just move you to a different side of the bounce - now GMail will be bouncing emails sent by you! See, for example, first comments on the recent HN thread here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=27707857 (ctrl+f for "pain in the" if it's not the first one).
So it looks like convincing GMail to respect your small server is a non-technical problem, which might be an issue for a person with "only engineering" mindset. On the other side, Dr.Hipp looks like a right person to try to convince GMail to respect smaller mailservers!