I live in SF. I go to shows in SF and Oakland. I agree that the music scene of the burbs is bad. That's the way it is everywhere though.
Venues that I'm happy to go to: Bottom of the Hill, The Chapel, Hotel Utah, The Rickshaw Stop, The Independent, August Hall, Swedish American Hall, Great American Music Hall, The Fillmore, Bimbo's 365, Warfield, The Fox, The Masonic.