1) Why do we continue playing the blame game with something that happened 65 years ago? I for one, no matter how bad I feel about what happened then, am not going to apologize. Seeing as my parents had not yet been born, I don't think I'm especially responsible, and I think it's pretty much the same across the board.
2) What is with this postulating about how "maybe nuclear weapons are not as good of a deterrent as we thought"!? They were certainly a good deterrent for... I don't know... the entire Cold War!? It doesn't really matter if they deliver the destruction we fear. As a deterrent, the only thing that matters is how much we fear them, which we obviously do! (Just look at the folks wringing their hands over Fukushima)
P.S. As I understand it, modern nuclear warheads make Little Boy and Fat Man look like toys. The US had a bomb of 25 megatons in 1961. Little Boy was 15 kilotons. May be wise to consider this when claiming nuclear weapons are no more consequential than some firebombing- leaving aside the part where one can be delivered from a submarine hundreds of miles away, and the other requires an entire squadron of bombers to do a flyover.