As a recent parent of two kids, all this stuff is very intuitive and I think all parents deep down instinctually know this true. The hard truth is that you can't take shortcuts with raising your kids. You pay the cost now, or you pay it later. But easier said than done when you're exhausted...

We've tried many things with our first child. He was, for all intents and purpose, one giant A/B test. And the data consistently shows that neither rewarding, disciplining, scolding him or timeouts work. The only thing that works (actually works) is (1) finding creative ways to playfully diffuse the current situation, (2) listening to them to identify the root problem and (3) turning the lesson into a game (inception). This takes A LOT more time and energy than simply yelling at them. It's a full time job.