Who needs passwords when your identity is owned by a corporation?

Use your^W the newest rented iDevice in your vicinity to confirm your identity. Make sure to replace the device regularly and have an active subscription to our movies, music, spying, and more services so that we can fulfill your banking login request today. It's important that you eat so that you may work and consume more.

We'll charge the customary 55% fee to everyone you interact with that isn't in our device platform bubble. Make sure not to log in with their account system or you may find your identity reputation score lowered and your chat bubbles rendered in poop brown to your peer group. How disgraceful.

Remember to buy our official chargers. Here are some ads from third party sponsors. Thank you.