I think that many people only decided that they didn't need these features because Apple removed them.
It reminds me of this video from awhile ago by The Onion:
Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard[1]
It reminds me of this video from awhile ago by The Onion:
Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard[1]
I also imagine they were making a joke with the $2600 starting price, which is funny cause that's what I paid (albeit in Canadian dollars) for my base-model 14" MBP yesterday