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Comment by belval | Hacker News Reader

Off-topic but why do people in the US say "we are pregnant" and not "my wife/girlfriend is pregnant". By basically all definitions only a woman can be pregnant so I don't understand why and where this usage emerged?

EDIT: I can see now that the question was either poor taste considering the topic of the article or sensitive by a lot of people. I had no idea that this was a controversial question and I am sorry.

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As a dad of three kids, you're right that only the female is literally pregnant, but its generally used to highlight the commitment both parents are making to the child. Further, it's recognizing that pregnancy is not a singular event, but instead an inflection point in their lives that both individuals are entering upon.

It's the event horizon of a black hole that inevitably swallows all of both parents' free time and disposable income.

Thanks! I am not American so I actually didn't know why that expression was used. Considering that my comment got flagged I take it that it's a sensitive topic in the US?

I have no idea why your comment was flagged. It's really not that sensitive of a topic in North America!

Because it's hard work, and it states that both partners are going to do that work.

It can be hard work to get pregnant, hard work to stay pregnant, hard work to carry to term, hard work to deliver and it is unbelievably hard work to raise a child. Two partners trying to get to the finish line have to make incredible sacrifices, and make huge changes to their lives in order to support each other.

Saying we're pregnant and sharing the state of pregnancy vs just saying she's pregnant, acknowledges the the shared work and the shared responsibility that is taken up by both partners, and it acknowledges the shared joy in bringing life into the world. And when you say it to someone other then your pregnant partner, you make it clear to them that you are picking up a huge responsibility and that they should recognize it.

Acknowledging that the most significant part of being pregnant is everything that comes after the birth and not the physical act of carrying a baby. We expect fathers to be parents now too.

I'm from the US, and this has always been weird to me too. My understanding is it's essentialy a solidarity/personal-investment thing, a pledge from the non-pregnant partner to support the pregnancy and take on as much of the burden as possible, despite being unable to also be physically pregnant.

But to me it's always sounded trite, and a bit like virtue signalling. The only person you need to show your investment to is your partner, and you do that through your actions, not words.

Why is this question flagged and/or downvoted. Seems like a totally legitimate question from outside the culture that uses saying. EDIT: Nevermind, it was flagged and fading in to oblivion.

I clearly hit some kind of cultural thing here, I am French Canadian and no one ever says the equivalent to "we are pregnant" ("nous sommes enceintes"?).

Maybe it was also in bad taste to ask this considering the tone of the article, anyway I got plenty of responses. Sorry if I offended anyone :(

I think it is a way to emphasise that they as a family is expecting to have a baby. Also, even though obviously only the woman carries the child, a pregnancy is something that affects both partners on many levels.

It's not meant to be literal. We all understand basic biology. The reason some of us say "we are pregnant" is because it demonstrates that both people are invested in the pregnancy.

Right so it's essentially used as a synonym to "we are expecting".

i'm in the US and do not believe i've heard that

it's to show their relationship status as intending to raise the child together.

One should not have to point out default settings.

They don't have to. They're choosing to.

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