Hacker News Reader

Comment by shubb | Hacker News Reader

Word of caution - my parents strictly controlled screen time until I was a young adult - at which point they just stopped. At the same time I moved to a room they couldn't supervise.

I lacked the self discipline tools to control my own bed times and screen time, and failed to manage either, impacting my grades.

That was an important lesson for sure, but I do think if we'd done something more phased earlier on, it would have been better. You can tell a 13 year old "You can go on the computer as much as you like on Thursday, but if you don't get your homework done and spend 3 hours doing non-screen things, you will not be allowed to next week". Not so much with an 18 year old.

View on HN

A friend of mine had his son (14) playing sometimes all night.

He thought, as his son is (really) smart, that he will realise by himself it was stupid.

Well, he didn't, his grades fall and now he doesn't even live with my friend, as his mother (ex-wife of my friend) let him do whatever he wants, so he decides to move with her.

We all cross finger that he will at a time have an epiphany and go back on track...

I think that smart kids needs raising too. They won't adopt your values unless you talk to them and interact with them.

And if they spend most of the time playing, they will adopt values of whatever gaming community they run into. And gaming communities don't tend to think gaming is stupid.

Yeah I have a cousin who I belive is permanently emotionally stunted because of this. Her whole life revolved around getting more screen time for the first 15 years.

Haha, yes, I had the same cousin! We would go play hide and seek while he played Legend of Zelda on his own in the corner :-/

Sounds like better communication would have been helpful, sharing concerns and listening to each other. This is where I see families, who communicate well, having to the most success in all areas.

Thanks, we're aware of that possibility. We talk a lot with them about the motivation for the limits so hopefully they will see the value in applying them to themselves even when we're not around. But it's obviously a long journey. Hope you've developed those tools now, I'm sorry you weren't set up to succeed there.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com