My biggest issue with the feedback I receive in a work setting is that it's not /actionable/. One of the things I inculcated in my practices as an operations engineer was to never trigger an alert that wasn't immediately actionable, because it trains operators to ignore alerts. Alerts are not informational, they are interruptions. Feedback is the same thing. I don't want informational feedback, that's something you should be getting regularly outside normal windows. Feedback is an interruption, and interruptions should be actionable.

I have never once been bothered by how soft or blunt the feedback I received was. I have never had my feelings hurt. I have, however, been consistently frustrated by receiving feedback which is effectively meaningless. I want to improve in my career so I get promoted, so I can gain the political capital in the organization necessary to be effective, and so I can succeed and improve my social standing, all very human and very normal desires. If your feedback doesn't help me to actionably reach those goals, and you as a manager who help determined promotion outcomes aren't leading me to a promotion by following your feedback, then you are doing me a disservice and I will likely eventually quit and move on out of frustration.

It's pretty much that simple. Don't soften it, don't be an asshole, just provide feedback that is actually actionable and useful. If you have no actionable feedback, say nothing.