Summary: ORMs are a leaky abstraction.

Thus, it is true that developers are responsible for knowing what is going on under the hood and either contorting how they use the ORM to get what they want or skipping it when necessary.

And it is also true that ORMs are to blame, they do not work as advertised, and often impose extra conceptual overhead because you end up composing SQL in your head and then trying to figure out how to get the ORM to generate the SQL, instead of thinking in the ORM's abstraction.