Well I agree that those work as well. I am afraid your post is too pithy about "does not work" to credit that bit though.
If this creates cohorts without the ability to partner up, them the breaks of free will and socioeconomic forces. Population ballooned, and it will be painful as it contracts. Humanity ran up the credit card of population growth, and it will have to be paid back (socioeconomically speaking, with unrest and economic contraction) .
I admit we’ve sort of painted ourselves into a corner and the deleveraging is going to be a bit wild over the next few decades.