I think the core of the disagreement between the "shit happens" camp and the "you're an insensitive clod" camp is differing understandings of the context of the conversation. I'm pretty sure we all, in a personal conversation with someone who just went through this, would be somewhere close to "That sucks. Are you OK?"

In a public discussion about whether it is appropriate to continue using Li-ion powered portable electronics, it seems natural that it's an entirely different discussion.

There is an inherent risk of loss of life whatever you do. We as a society just agreed that there's an acceptable level of it. Lithium-Ion batteries are on the higher level of it but their usefulness outweights it completely. To answer your question, there's a lot of things that have much higher chance of happening on an airplane e.g. a bird flying into the engine or a terrorist attack.