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Comment by sometimeshuman | Hacker News Reader

There is no stigma these days for not starting a family kids and men can privately retreat into video games and pornography. When confronted about their selfish* lifestyle the above comment is convenient cover but it is not backed by solid data. I'd take birth in this past decade over birth in my decade any day.

*I'd argue that not having at least one child and possibly adopting others is selfish assuming one has financial means. For example, while I thought I wanted kids, upon reflection what I really wanted are mini-me's. If I could buy a clone I'd do it immediately, but child roulette?, no thanks. My selfish lifestyle had made me very happy so far and that feels like a character flaw.

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May I ask how old you are?

From where I am, a "selfish" lifestyle of video games and porn replacing responsibility does not seem to be healthy long-term.

I'm in my late 20s now, and the guys I know who are not working towards getting married and starting a family are pretty much all starting to experience some sort of constant existential anxiety.

I'd rather not say my age because I rather not influence any young men to follow my path. The general data is there, a life without a family is not healthy long term. Follow my path at your peril since a lot of other things have to go right to make up for the void usually filled by family. For the record I don't play video games or view much porn and if that is how I were filling the void I would have severe existential anxiety. I volunteer/mentor, play sports, run a business, and am successful professionally.

Perhaps the existential anxiety was already there and has kept them from working towards a family? Look at a history of births and you see a major drop-off in WW2, a period where it really felt like the world could end, literally people anxious over their continued existence. Take away the War, and you get a baby boom.

Part of me thinks its the "working towards" part, independent of the family/marriage bit. I can't prove it though.

I think if you drop off the rails of a traditional lifestyle, you need to be ready to stand on your own two feet a little more when it comes to intrinsic motivation.

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