Months of follow ups later and:
IBM: "this isn't a supported configuration."
Me: "But, it's documented as a supported configuration."
IBM: "It has been removed from the latest documentation."
Me: "And when was that published?"
IBM: "Tomorrow"
Even after getting a DB2 Connect install working, it was a nightmare then dealing with their compatibility flags, which changed with every fixpack. Want feature A to work? Set the flag for it...but, you'll lose features B & C if you do that...
(edit: formatting)