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Apropos has the compelling feature that I get to feel clever for knowing the word.

Just don't be one of those people who go around saying 'hehe apropros of nothing mirite' at seemingly everything!

(Also, `man --apropros` is the long option fwiw. I'm not really suggesting that as a better alternative though!)

I believe man -k just runs apropos.

Yep! man -k even has an ISO standard with which apropos is compliant https://www.mankier.com/1/apropos.mandoc#Standards

Right. There's often a tension between features and ease of use.