Sorry if this comment sounds out of place, there is not bad intention from me... but do you also have a daily set of short and long term expectations for your wife and does she meet them as diligently as you seem to meet her expectations of you?
You and your spouse are a team. If your both smart and want the same things, you both should be able to figure out a routine that you both can tolerate that also achieves what each of you want. It’s both give and take.