That being said, it's possible to punish yourself way too much for what you did or didn't say, dissecting every conversation afterwards. I was a very shy kid. I had a lot of thoughts, but I didn't speak up. I would describe myself as someone on the spectrum who figured out how to communicate using a different methodology than most people; it didn't come naturally. When suddenly around 15 or 16 I began to get confidence, it loosened up my tongue, maybe way too much. At certain points, especially in my 20s, I remember thinking that I was going too far (trying to impress, or to make a point) and sounding like an idiot. But I was extremely hard on myself about this, like I think you are being. I would have a great conversation with someone and then wake up the next day feeling suicidal because I was sure they thought I was stupid or annoying. Even when this bore no relationship to reality. Even with people who liked me and wanted to hang out.
One thing that helped me was a year I spent in therapy - specifically, existential therapy. It helped me see that I'm just what I am, we're all just what we are. No one's perfect, and no one spends anywhere near as much time analyzing my social faux pas as I do. That at most, people might think I'm eccentric or a curiosity. And being so hard on myself took away the pleasure of relating to other people, put too much focus on me, and made me too defensive. Why was I always worried about being judged - why did I assume that everyone else was judging me and yet I always accepted them for who they were? So much comes out of your own sense of self-doubt. It colors your interactions in ways you hardly realize, and it can lead to a dark place when you're trapped in your own head that way.