First, I find it annoying that you're being downvoted here. You're being honest and sincere and that should be commended even if I don't agree with you.
To the point however: From reading your comments, it seems to me that there is something about your children (well, two of them at least) that you really, really don't like. My guess would be that this isn't because they are so different from you, but rather that they are exhibiting qualities that are very similar to qualities about yourself that you detest. I could be way off, but you might do well to explore this aspect on your own, if only to discount it.
You seem to think that what you're feeling is positive to them. I can assure you that it isn't. I can also assure you that they feel it too.