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I found the copy clunky and complicated. Too many words. Long sentences. Too many commas and brackets.

I'm not a professional writer.

Also the background colors (yellow, fuchsia, etc) are a bit too much for reading.

I'm not a professional copywriter either but I think pleasing colors and fonts should also be contenders for writing a good "readable" sales copy.

Both pleasing aesthetics and wacky ones must be tested against the business objectives for this to have meaning.

Sometimes ugly works. Sometimes ugly is just in your mind. Always test, or you are always guessing as to the best option.

Wild colors, mixed up fonts, and bored layout are all non-copywriting problems with this page.