Maybe I'm conceited but I think curiosity should guide you. Obviously something about ML inspires you. Envision what you want to achieve and fill the gaps as you go. Yes, there are more or less optimal ways to learn, but maybe it's more important to keep the fire alive than to push through quickly. The harsh truth is that maybe you still harbor an aversion for math. Most ML practitioners have dark spots, that's fine. But you need a genuine interest to navigate.