Housing: I wouldnt say that large families in tiny houses was ever desirable or good. You might want to check other factors in your sample of parents/grandparents such as class, housing market, family culture, etc. From the people Ive talked to, my peers' parents' generation had a better QOL in their home and fewer people in the home than either today or in the preceding generation. But again, thats anecdotal.

Daycare: public funding for community resources like daycare/childcare as well as PTO for childcare has atrophied after decades of austere policy. Its not always a choice to not utilize childcare options. I am not religious and I dont have an extended family to rely on, so my options are... privatized childcare because community based options are nonexistant. not to mention the need for dual-income families to keep up with rising cost of living

Education: public school funding has atrophied after decades of austere policy. Not to mention ass-backwards funding structures that prioritize high-income neighborhoods over poor neighborhoods. US job markets are also unreasonably obsessed with college credentials, so you have families taking out loans they cant afford to give their child a chance. And hey those loans make homeownership even harder.

This idea that it is the individual's choice to make things expensive ignores a host of other systemic factors that remove choices from the board. We COULD make education better and cheaper for everyone. We COULD dedicate resources to help support new families. We COULD make housing more affordable for everyone. We kinda have to stop blaming individuals for things out of their control.