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Comment by davidhansen | Hacker News Reader

I don't know how old you are, but be prepared to battle this for much of your life. At 32, I would have hoped to excise the latent misogyny and distrust of former jocks that my adolescent experiences burned into me, but it has not abated. I expect this to last a lifetime, and my only defense is to continue working on discarding cached thoughts( per the LessWrong folks )whenever they are recognized.

The real kicker is that if you have a successful startup exit, it gets much worse. My own cynicism grew enormously after witnessing the dramatic change that money brought into women's attitude toward me. The day you realize a woman is sleeping with you merely as a chore to gain access to resources - well, let's just say that's not a very good day.

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>My own cynicism grew enormously after witnessing the dramatic change that money brought into women's attitude toward me.

This isn't necessarily because these women are after your money, though I'm sure that's true for some of them. The other factor is that your success in business is evidence of your innate qualities, which makes women more attracted to you.

Cool to see a fellow LessWrong fan here.

Have a look at http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction

Probably gonna get down-voted for peddling PUA filth but whatevs :)

The day you realize a woman is sleeping with you merely as a chore to gain access to resources - well, let's just say that's not a very good day.

It only makes sense that women are genetically programmed to seek males who can be good providers for their children. You are to be complimented for your success. You must take measures (i.e., condoms, etc.) to ensure you are not entrapped however.

If you desire offspring, you should seek a woman who will not pursue sex outside your relationship. A woman who falls in love with you is, of course, most suitable. But make no mistake, your success will enhance your attractiveness to any women seeking a mate, even one who falls in love with you.

I am sorry for what you had to go through, I can relate in a way. I will recommend the same I recommended to winter_blue: consider (behavior) therapy and work through whatever pain and/or toxic shame might be left in you from the past.

And on gold-digging women: they should be sufficiently easy to spot and just decide whether the sleeping-with-you and her presence is worth it to you or not. There are also great girls out there who are having just as much a hard time with some dumb male partner who would be happy to be with someone honest and hard working. Don't give up and more importantly, work through whatever pains you from the past.

And on gold-digging women: they should be sufficiently easy to spot...

I don't think so. In general, women are masters of deception (by male geek standards) and you shouldn't expect to beat them at their own game.

In my experience, the only reliable way to spot a golddigger is to reveal that you are broke and have no desire to change this.

Oh heavens no, I don't even aspire to match half of the social and manipulative skills women seem to be so born with. One thing I think I have figured out is weighing actions vs. words. And the real gold-diggers usually reveal themselves rather quickly because it is only efficient for them to get things to "being paid" mode as soon as possible. But it will take (lots of) reflective thinking to see it for what it is, that is true.

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