I thought that courts ruled that insider trading laws don’t apply to the elected officials who can (and do) get far more information, far earlier than anyone else? Which is a delightful level of BS, but means that such actions aren’t “breaking the law” because… reasons?

The correct course of action would be to say, sure you can trade on info you receive, however your instructions must be made publicly available, and say 7 days ahead of time, and the instructions cannot be rescinded.

Did you read the article… it specifically mentions that their spouses and dependent children are included. So that would mean another third party would do the trading.