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Comment by boole1854 | Hacker News Reader

> What is described here is something I also struggle with - the obligation to explain my worldview to others. [...] What I see as matter-of-fact can make others extremely sad.

Hopefully I'm not making the struggle worse by asking this -- but can you explain what you mean? That is, what is it about your worldview that causes others to feel extremely sad?

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A personal example: if the conversation ever turns to children, or why we don't have any, the real answer is that we (my wife and I) strongly believe that any children we might have had would have a (much) worse experience growing up than we did. They would almost certainly not be able to dream about affording housing, they will be dealing with fallout from the ubiquity of PFAS/PFOS/pthalates/microplastics/..., probably getting dragged into war(s), dealing with a polarised society and lack of civil discourse, they will have every move they make from birth tracked by companies that will be telling them what to buy and when, their ability to hold a political opinion that is their own will be severely compromised by social media and advertisers, they will be dealing with the fallout of climate change/ increased atmospheric pollutants, the list goes on. It seems that on so many measures the world is getting objectively worse, and much harder to navigate. So I censor myself when taking to friends, particularly friends with kids, because it's not fair on them to cause them to start worrying like I do.

"because it's not fair on them to cause them to start worrying like I do."

but apart from the chivalry

maybe cause them to start worrying is a movement of kindness and fairness after all. Unless you prefer them to live in utopia and you in reality.

I mean, if you're focused on reading all the terrible things going on in the world all the time, you aren't actually living in reality. You're living in a reality created by journalists whose job is to get you to click on their articles - usually by reporting the most depressing or terrifying news with a strongly negative bias.

And now you’re living in a utopian wonderland where governments do nothing wrong and there is no war, crime or corruption

The parent merely suggested not focusing on bad news "all the time" -- they did not recommend ignoring bad news altogether.

I wanted to say that I admire you and your wife's selflessness. Many people _know_ these things, but avert their gaze because they want kids, or don't want to rock the boat too much by not having any.

> or don't want to rock the boat too much by not having any.

Why is "not having children" rocking the boat. Intuitively, I would rather argue that (for example because of reasons outlined by the GP) having children means rocking the boat.

I have a similar experience. It is the emotional detachment from otherwise emotionally salient things that catches people off guard. Sometimes it is interpreted as "dark humor" or "deep cynicism" when the person offering the insight means it only in a realist/stoic sense.

I feel you :(

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