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Comment by RamblingCTO | Hacker News Reader

Would you treat someone in real life like that?

People who write posts like the GP’s tend to be bullies wherever they can get away being one. So to answer your question: yes, but only if they can avoid getting caught by others.

People who write posts like yours tend to ascertain their moral superiority by psychoanalyzing people on the internet based on a few badly interpreted words

No, you are definitely giving off mean vibes.

If you don’t like what I have to say about you, in your own words, I “suggest you make your profile private and only follow people you have a personal connection with”.

You have said nothing about me since you're talking to a simple username whose life you have no idea about. But I'm not the one here sobbing, so your reply means absolutely nothing

I disparage people in real life all the time, mostly when their terrible code consumes hours of my workday or days of my workweek. The difference is my comments aren't discoverable by them.

I think part of the problem is people treat Twitter as a conversational platform for their friendgroup, when it actually is a megaphone lottery.

> I disparage people in real life all the time, mostly when their terrible code consumes hours of my workday or days of my workweek. The difference is my comments aren't discoverable by them.

There's so much negative stuff to unpack here ...

The real negative stuff is Docker. I don't understand how anybody uses it in production without getting a stomach ulcer.

Just for one example, when we discovered that some of the built-in logging backends were straight up dropping data if your line length got sufficiently big, strong words were exchanged about the competence of various contributors. Or when our CI builds time out because the Docker daemon fails to respond within a three-minute window to a simple `docker stop` command. And I don't want to single Docker out here - all of "modern enterprise development" is like this. It's gotten to the point where my default stance is that I refuse to use database/messagebus systems that are younger than ten years.

edit: Seriously, do you not gripe? How do you stay sane?

Hah, well, I do gripe quite a lot. But I try not to be too negative and be very mindful about that. Because, you know, being a CTO and a negative example and all that. First person shooters help tremendously as well, after work.

Yeah I try to be negative about technology more than people, but sometimes it's hard to resist. I guess I also try to slag off on people in inverse proportion to how likely they are to hear about it. The point after all is to release stress, not to hurt anybody.

Conversely, I don't mind if people talk behind my back. I barely mind if people talk in front of me! Generally if you say my code is shit I'll probably agree with you.

edit: Usually the way it works out where I work is, one person gripes, the other feels compelled to defend, and it balances out. Advantage of contrarianism.

I get what you mean, I would just be worried about what it means to your relationship to that person.

Well, if I ever need to have a relationship with Lennart Poettering or Greg Young I guess I'll do a lot of walking-back. :)

(Important to clarify that I try to strongly avoid talking bad about people I actually have a directish work relation to.)

Actually if you read someone else's public Twitter posts you're a sea lion and that's a capital offense

Yes, in a pub, which social media is the digital equivalent of. If you can't handle some mean banter (in this case even surrounded by a majority of praise) I suggest you make your profile private and only follow people you have a personal connection with

So you go through life ripping people down. You must be a real barrel of laughs to be around.

That's your own personal baseless speculation, do you go through life randomly accusing people? Not very healthy, I would suggest being less hasty

You literally said you’d tear people down in a pub when you were asked directly if you would treat someone in real life like that. There’s no speculation, and I’m not accusing you of anything, what I’m saying is based on your response.

I didn't literally say that and you are making things up. "Tearing down" someone has a strong and violent connotation, nothing to do with a few snarky comments.

I must have misunderstood something.

The OP wrote:

“Would you treat someone in real life like that?”

You responded:

“Yes, in a pub”

Your definition of snark seems very off. Snark is only ever used in a passive aggressive attempt to tear down another person. It is literally “critical or mocking comments made in an indirect or sarcastic way.”

Snark is never made for the edification of the other person, nor is it ever constructive.

Society works on ridicule (and worse things) to ensure conformity. Nothing wrong with it.

There’s a huge amount wrong with that. It discourages participation because it means people are too scared they might make a mistake. Ridicule is designed to silence and prevent constructive dialog, and achieves nothing.

And I don’t see why conforming to society is always a great idea. Certain aspects of society needs people to conform, but most things are, when boiled down, not necessary.

I totally agree with that! We have enough evidence that ridicule etc. cause detrimental mental health effects.

Ridicule is designed to prevent nails from sticking out, nothing more.

There is so much wrong with your statement.

Banter is not something you can easily transfer into digital communication imho, as it 1) most often needs some existing relationship with the person or 2) some reassuring element of facial expression/gestures to communicate that you are in fact not being an asshole right now.

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