Unfortunately, you come across as soft. The only way to deal with heartless people is being equally violent.
The best way to build a welcoming community is not to call out others as soft, but instead take the side of those you perceive as soft and ensure they don't get the short end simply for not being agressive.
If our ancestors had been this cowardly then fascism and hate speech would be norm not the exception.
I have accounts in other services, for work, public accounts. And it is about work, no unwarranted attacks, much less personal ones, even as things may get heated when coding with other developers.