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I used to say "personal reasons," but I thought of a better cancellation reason the other day.

"I'm converting to the Amish faith and forsaking technology."

Best part: when they ask if there's anyone you'd like to transfer the account to, you can instantly play the indignant card.

"And turn someone else away from the Lord with the distractions of worldly temptation?!"

I once got a call from a sales representative (SR).

SR: "So, what shows do you like to watch?"

Me: "I don't watch any shows because I don't have cable."

SR: "How about you subscribe to our cable service then you can watch some good shows?"

Me: "I can't...I don't have a TV."

SR: "Why don't you buy a TV so you can watch some good shows?"

Me: "I can't...I don't have electricity." (I lied)

SR: (dead silence for a second or two...)

SR: "Thank you sir. Have a nice day."

They never bothered me again.

They don't give a f what you tell them. Told a beer subscription service I'm looking to quit due to health concerns.

...the "can we tempt you back with this offer" mails started immediate after.