I still can't reconcile how verbose he is about pretty much anything that goes through his mind with the fact that both his parents are lawyers.
It's not dissimilar to some of the ripped athletic types I'm friends with that try and use their size to an advantage even when the situation definitely doesn't call for it. If a tongue-lashing or an ass-kicking is the immediate gut response, it's probably not the most pragmatic, I've found.
And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.
And if it was, that’s not a big deal.
And if it is, that’s not my fault.
And if it was, I didn’t mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.