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Comment by msie | Hacker News Reader

At 51, I am trying to come to grips with wasting my life in my 20s, 30s and 40s. I don't remember doing anything memorable during that time. I spent too much time doing bullshit programming or doing the same old comfortable things with friends. I wish I dated more. Tried more things that young people can do. I was too scared to make mistakes. Now I can't go back. It's driving me nuts.

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Hey man at least you've realized it now and not on your death bed. So now you have time to do the new things. You get your second life.

You can't go back only forward, find peace with your past. A therapist can help. Put another pearl on the string of life and move forward.

My biggest regret is not going to therapy sooner. I would've been so much happier sooner. Now I laugh at the irony of that statement.

What can young people do now that you could not do ? Internet stuff? The way I see it, young people now can do less than when I was young. For example lots of dangerous activities got prohibited (e.g. fireworks) or they added too much regulations (alcohol, cigarettes, mopeds). For good or worse, no more compulsory army at 18. We live in a very protective society where every threatening activity gets banned.

As a European, I studied in the UK and got a masters, tutions fees paid by the European Union. My children cannot do this anymore.

My young is 17 and spend his free time in the gym, and he is not alone. It is true I could not do this at his age, but I do not understand it.

I wish that I had hiked the Appalachians mountains. its a 7 month journey one of my friends did it in his 20's. I'm in my 40's and in good shape, but im not sure I could do that one anymore.

Nothing is stopping you except family/work obligation. But I believe you can take a month off or at least 2 weeks to do a part of the trail, no?

I'm also perusing of doing a pilgrimage, not because I'm religious, but because it has a lot of facilities along the way. The real thing stopping me is to take the time off to do it.

This is a grander version of what I do when I procrastinate: fret about the time I’ve wasted, beat myself up about what I wasted it on, and anxiously berate myself every minute that I don’t _just stop wasting time_. None of that ever works, and nothing feels better than forgiving myself for it, forgetting all of it, and just getting started. You don’t have any “then” left, but you do have “now” left.

Don't be 68 wondering the same thing about the last decade and a half.

That's the problem, now you can't know what you would regret in 20 years.

For bad (and for good), what you did in the past does not matter that much. Good memories can help your current moment, but only a little if you can't do the same now.

For example, if you dated more and had more good relationships can do some good for your self esteem, but you'll still miss these things now if you don't have them.

And the end of the day only the current moment really matters.

You still have plenty of time left to do cool things.

What things do you wish you'd done, besides dating?

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