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Comment by yzhengyu | Hacker News Reader

People should try negotiating first. If that fails, then start looking for a new job.

Unfortunately, what I gather from the behaviour of my peers is that they lack the spine to do so. They can't muster the courage to draw a line in the sand.

So they keep picking up assignments, fail to do them adequately, and need to perform heroics to cover their ass till some other guy comes along to save them.

Ironically, some of them wonder why they keep getting passed up for promotion. I don't have the heart to tell them why.

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At my last job, I was in this exact situation. I attempted to be reasonable and negotiate. My ex-boss's response: "The guys at Google can do it, why can't you? You just aren't good enough".

This was after I spent 3 months (and many long and unpaid hours) saving the company $50K/year. When I was finished, I got reamed in a 2+ hour meeting for not working on the boss's pet projects (even after I explained to him many many times exactly what I was doing and why I couldn't work on his other projects). The problem is that I've seen too many people in upper-management that do things like this. It's why I decided to finally start my own company.

Some people are just not logical and make decisions based on pure emotions. I would have quit on the spot, but I wanted unemployment, so I intentionally made things difficult until I was laid off a month later.

My exit strategy worked.

that is exactly what I am experiencing. MY boss on numerous occassions told me he knows he is emotional but "so its life, so deal with it".

one thing I truly learnt from a situations like this is always expect the worse. for example: my boss yelled at me that a project is not finished. so I told him OK i will work this weekend to finish it. then next day he replied: spend weekend with family you work so hard. so I did. oh naive me. Monday comes and I am being yelled at that project is not completed. But you told me to spend time with family. - well, you should weight whats more important my advice to spend time with family or complete project that would make me and managment happy.

I will quit eventually, but the job is extremly well paid (makes me feel like a bitch I know), and there is no way I can get something similar for this salary (average for my work is 60% less). Thats probably a trick when someone offers you way more money than your job is reasonably worth.

Perspective shift: You're being paid to be yelled at.

Document everything, so that he can't take it beyond yelling. And consider yourself an actor, or an actor-in-training. You sit there and take it until "they yell cut", and let it roll off you without soaking in.

And... if he's going to find something to yell about, regardless, then indeed, spend the weekend (and evenings, etc.) with your family. Fuck him.

P.S. Have some networking in place and prospects cooking, for if and when one of you has had enough.

P.P.S. The more you stand up to a bully, the more -- often -- they actually end up respecting you (and acting in a more reasonable manner). It's not guaranteed, but it's worth exploring.

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