"Do I seem like a rational person?"

Nope. Nor a rational one.

While there is little more frustrating than a spreadhsheet pretending it's a database this seems like it was written by a first year IT associate who doesn't really understand either side of this cycle.

Their advice boils down to do something stupid with a higher support burden rather than understanding when to use each tool in the arsenal.

While I'm deeply sympathetic the author should be discussing their issues with a therapist rather than spreading this on the internet as of there's some real basis for it.