It's like you're speaking a different language to me, and I find that so weird considering we're using the exact same framework. How am I not having any of these issues?
I'm honestly at the point where I wonder if y'all are making things harder on yourself somehow, because I could see how getting obsessed with counting every single re-render and trying to overoptimize would result in the stuff you're saying while not actually impacting perf in a meaningful way.