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People seem to spend a lot of time trying to get PHP to be more like Rails, Django, Node/Express, Play and similar, people seem to think it's OK for the entire application to need to be re-initialized on every request (LazyLoading classes) instead of just running the setup once and then handling requests. PHP has it's advantages but why re-invent the wheel using marshmallows?

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Apparently you have never tried wagon wheels.

They are biscuits topped with marshmallow and covered in a chocolate flavoured coating. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wagon_Wheels

I'd completely forgotten about those, you've successfully invalidated my metaphor. My A-Level electronics teacher used to get us wagon wheels every time he forgot to review our prep (basically every week)

"The biscuit itself is round to represent the wheel of a wagon"

Really? They must have gone through great lengths and a lot of experimentation before they were finally successful in creating that shape.

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