But it makes the people who figure out how to install it think they're some kind of hacker/coder...so they get this elitist attitude about them.
I met Arch users that are all 1337 and think they are the best. Usually they don't actually know much about their system at all.
And others that are like you say... Helpful but a bit protective.
It is a good feeling to start with something minimal and build on it until you have something that is totally customized to your needs. Sure you can start with a distro that has a lot of things preconfigured but you will need to reverse engineer first. Arch gives you the greenfield approach which is in my opinion more enjoyable.