Comment by WastingMyTime89 | Hacker News Reader

Comment by WastingMyTime89 | Hacker News Reader

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WastingMyTime89

I think what you do on a daily basis has a huge impact to how you deal with this. When I was mostly focused on a single issue at a time for long strench of time, I used to be reluctant to call people and didn't really plan things for my personnal life. As my job shifted towards more organisational responsibilities and I had to start both carefully planning how I use my own time and spending a lot more time contacting people to get things done, these things started slowly expanding to the rest of my time by cheer force of habit. What is one more call to the guy who should have trimmed the tree when you have spent the day asking people why they are behind schedule?

I think it goes well with the anxiety explanation. You are obviously less anxious about things which are just business as usual. I guess my take away would be that if you want to start doing something you find hard, it will get easier and easier as you stick with it, which is pretty nice when you think about it.

yeah, I've sort of observed this... my gf is in a people-centric / customer service job, and thinks nothing of picking up the phone and making life-related calls in an instant that I would probably procrastinate for days before making.

I've thought maybe it was her job that led her to it. But I've also wondered if it was something in my blood. See, my father was a lawyer. As a kid I'd sit in his office and listen to him make tough phone calls one after another all day. But when it came time to talk to anyone at all at home, he always made my mother do it. I've found myself doing this with my girlfriend if we want to order food or something. Because I'll simply drink all night and delay the phone call.

So when it comes to any work flag that arises, I'll call my clients obsessively until they pay attention to the problem. But if I need someone to do something for me, I basically almost can't make the call.

I used to be in your position. What broke the cycle for me was that my SO realized how anxious I would get every time I had to make a phone call, so he assigned all phone-related household tasks to me until I lost the phobia via exposure/practice. It sucked until it didn’t anymore. I’m now one of those people who prefers to make a call rather than use a web form!

I don't like making calls, going to appointments, job interviews and things like that. But in terms of the effort it takes me to do it, I noticed the first is usually the hardest one. So now I just procrastinate on purpose any calls or appointments I need to make that I can defer with little negative consequences. Eventually something shows up that I know I shouldn't delay, like an appointment with the doctor, or the dentist, or something like that. I force myself to do it and take it as an opportunity to do everything I had piled up, since I know once I make the first call it'll be easier to do the others. It can cause me to have a very frantic week when it happens but after I can relax again.

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