For decades, Arthur raised flags to upper management about the high complexity of the codebase, and begged them to hire a couple of junior devs. Only then could he delegate enough work for him to take on the refactoring project. The software's uptime and stability - he reminded them - was critical to the survival rates of children stricken with spinal meningitis. But management churn and budgetary chaos at the org resulted in the project fluctuating between "investment" and "divestment" states for decades, leaving him to fend for himself.

He told his manager that the data access layer - consisting of 5k LOC batch scripts calling Microsoft Access - needed to be brought up to speed. Maybe they'd consider PostgreSQL this year. Containerization, he protested, isn't going to fix the problems inherent to the system's labyrinthian integrations with countless software vendors and proprietary components. He also reminded them that it's 2023 and Windows containers still don't support RDP.

They still needed a replacement for "Bob". Bob left the org back in 2008. Under duress, and impossibly tight sprint deadlines, Bob was asked to make surgical modifications to the WingdingsAbstractFactory.java class - to be deployed directly into production no-later-than-end-of-sprint. Bob complained that there were no conceivable DR plans, or QA engineers assigned to the project. After a ten hour deployment - and a highly blameful postmortem - Bob exited on record-short-notice.

Arthur was forced into an early retirement under the recommendation of his physician. It was said that his stomach issues were brought on by the stress at work. Only Soylent and tinned meat were within tolerable levels of discomfort.

Arthur will be remembered by his loved ones for his patience, steadfastness, and creativity.