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Comment by andrewfromx | Hacker News Reader

the best part is the "exactly what to say" at the end:

"At this point, I don’t feel equipped to throw out a number because I’d like to find out more about the opportunity first – right now, I simply don’t have the data to be able to say something concrete. If you end up making me an offer, I would be more than happy to iterate on it if needed and figure out something that works. I promise not to accept other offers until I have a chance to discuss them with you."

i love it. I would have to have that right in front of me and read it word for word. And if I get pushed to reveal a number I would need to just pause and slowly repeat it again word for word like a robot.

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I don't think how you say it is as critical as understanding the concept. When I am interviewing, I am usually talking to a few companies at the same time, so my answer is usually "While I don't want to throw out a number, just wanted to be transparent that I am talking to a few companies and have/expect to have another couple of offers before I make a decision. Obviously how those offers come in will be a factor in my expectations and I would of course let you know if we need to work on the numbers. So right now I would just be very happy to see your starting number and go from there"

maybe less words than that, so it's literally the mental model in my head. Repeating something like a robot is probably better than blurting out the number but having a real game plan and treating the recruiter as a partner is probably better.

yeah but I was raised to be a good kid and do what the teacher or adult authority figures tell me to do. Even though I'm an adult now, when a fast talking recruiter demands to know some numbers I have a hard time not just folding and giving in! I would need to print out those words and paste them on the wall and like practice 10 times with a friend playing the role of sneaky recruiter.

That's a funny and impressive sense of self awareness.

If I may, I wouldn't think of the recruiter as an authority figure (they have none...) Rather they are your partner. Their best case scenario is that you are a good candidate for their job and they get to fill it. Which is also your best case scenario!

So it's more about how do you get there together collaboratively - at least that's how I frame it in my mind. So when they ask for something I don't want to share I respond more from the frame that it's not the piece of info that would help right now but here's how we should play it.

But your script is definitely a good start!

> I would need to print out those words and paste them on the wall and like practice 10 times with a friend playing the role of sneaky recruiter.

This is actually a really fantastic idea. You should absolutely do this.

> I would have to have that right in front of me and read it word for word. And if I get pushed to reveal a number I would need to just pause and slowly repeat it again word for word like a robot.

LOL. I'd probably read it like a bank heist hostage. Ideally, while blinking rapidly and visibly sweating on the Zoom meeting.

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