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Comment by ochoseis | Hacker News Reader

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ochoseis

> But why is happiness later better than happiness now?

Here are a few more to ponder:

- Why does the squirrel bury nuts in the warmer months instead of eating them right away?

- Why save money instead of spending every paycheck?

- Why not spend every day gaming, drinking and smoking?

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There’s a distinction between pleasure and happiness.

- why cultivate friendships, have experiences like travel, build hobbies and skills that will give you joy all through your life?

For many people, the time and financial cost of children means delaying or sacrificing all those.

True, however there's no guarantee that children will take care of you later, many such cases where it doesn't happen. But still, I get your point about hedonism, the Greeks thought about this often.

I think the long-term satisfaction of having happy, healthy adult children is a little deeper than how well they take care of you in old age.

For some people, not for all. What if your kids hate you or you hate them? More common than people think.

In America’s cruel and highly individualistic society, while I wouldn’t say it’s the majority, it’s certainly a sizable percentage of people that hate their children or their parents. I think a lot of it stems from the lack of safety nets, for profit healthcare, etc where having children results in increasing the financial burden on oneself. While all countries experience population declines as they become more developed, I think the association between that and the animosity people have toward children (and as a result, eventually, people have toward their parents) is much more variable. The US is one of the few wealthy countries where having a family can cause you to lose your job, be forced into medical debt, have to pay ridiculous child care and educational costs. The undoubtedly breeds resentment toward children and in some cases much worse behavior. During my own childhood, things weren’t even as egregious as they are now in terms of the ratio of wages to the cost of basic needs (food, housing, healthcare) and this was already obvious. I remember people behaving abusively to their children in grocery store lines and invoking how much was being spent on them, my friends being sent to school sick because their parents couldn’t afford to miss work, and myriad other signs of this. I can’t imagine what it’s like in 2023.

I am okay with this outcome. Better than no children at all.

You do you. For me, no children at all is the better outcome.

People don't necessarily have children in order to be taken care of later. People have children because that's what people do, reproduction being one of life's joys and purpose.

The experience of raising a child, watching them grow, and seeing them prosper in the world is the reward. I don't expect them to care for me when I'm old.

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